Thinking.

So it's been a while and everything so far is the same as it's been. The next phase in my life starts next friday and I still don't have everything ready for school.  Hopefully everything will be in order for the first day of the fall semester.

Today I got to thinking about my surroundings and who I spend my time with. I've always been very family oriented but lately it seems like we're all at each others throats. None of us have been able to just sit down and talk without the conversation turning into a riot and I've even felt out of place with friends. I go through different phases where I feel at peace with my environment and other times I just don't seem to be able to fit in. Starting at a new school is sort of opening my eyes to how i truly spend my time. And while speaking to a friend I discovered that I do desire a change of scene, a new environment (and this included a change of the people around me.)

I'm not sure if i should feel bad about the fact that i don't necessarily want to hang out with the same people and sit around doing the same things. I want to be able to be my own individual and if that means loosing some baggage in the process well, so be it. All I do know is that I need to fly from the nest, and even if that's merely metaphorical speaking it will lead to a brooding of all my horizons and therefore make me take the next step in one of many metamorphoses.

Red light, pause.

It's been a few days and I was tempted to return as soon as I posted my last, but I didn't want it to seem like I was addicted. A couple of days have gone by and I'm not in the greatest of moods but I will say I'm super excited for school to begin. Growing up comes with many responsibilities, but I feel that I might just be capable to face them. I feel as if I'm finally coming to terms with what is next for me. It is weird to have to do things all on ones own, but it gives the heart a sense of belonging. Maybe even the feeling of being needed, even if the need is your own. All I can say is that I am looking forward to what the future can hold and at least for me, for now,  the glass is most definitely half full.